Homeschmucks
by BEJ
Summary: Ongoing story. Includes pairings some people wont be cool with. John moves into the city where Dave lives.
1. Chapter 1

_**DISCLAIMER: **__I OWN NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! NOT EVEN THE ROCK I LIVE UNDER. Okay, serious times now. I am claiming no ownership for anything but this particular work itself. I'm making no money off of this, just hopefully a few good reviews. Words are currently happening in a disclaimer that likely no one is ever going to read. If I continue doing this, it will look longer and more official. Characters belong to Homestuck available at .com. Right? Okay! On to the - _

_**WARNING: THIS CONTAINS IDEALOGICALLY SENSITIVE MATERIAL. ie - Peeps are gay who I know likely weren't intended to be. Possibly also leading to a weight-gain scenario to appease a good friend of mine. Also, this whole little series is going to be taking place in a slightly AU setting because I wrote Chapter one before I had caught up in the Webcomic itself. **_

The day came when the SBURB beta was long since over with, the actual game having been put out of production due to the less than astounding reviews that came from the beta. Some time passed the world by, and now on John Egbert's fifteenth birthday, he found out from his father, overtop piles of cake, that they were going to be moving to the city. A particular city actually, and purely by coincidence.

John rushed upstairs to log onto his Pesterchum account.

EctoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead (4:43pm)

EB- Hey! Hey! Guess what!

TG - oh hey egbert

TG - what kind of insane loot you rake in THIS time

EB - Huh? Oh yeah! I got another poster and a new game and guess what I found out!

TG - alright there mr psychotic about the guess what

TG - what is it

EB - I'm gonna be moving soon!

TG - oh thats cool

TG - where to

EB - Guueeeessssss!

TG - i dunno man

TG - friggin istanbul

EB - ha ha ha nooo! I'm moving to the same city you live in!

TG - no shit really

TG - that is pretty cool actually

EB - I know, right? okay, dad just called me for dinner. ttyl!

EctoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead (4:56pm)

John spent the rest of his birthday in an absolutely amazing mood. His dad made his favorite dinner, and had another couple presents hidden for John in his room. He also didn't make John eat any more cake than what he wanted to eat this time.

John spent his evening starting to pack up all his things, pausing every once in awhile when someone pestered him.

tentacleTherapist started pestering ectoBiologist (7:36pm)

TT- Happy birthday, John!

EB- Rose! Hi! Guess what!

TT - What?

EB - Noooo you're supposed to guess!

TT - You shaved off all your hair and joined the circus freak show as 'the amazing cueball'?

EB - Ha ha ha! No! Guess again!

TT - You know John, these guessing games of yours make me wonder if you have some attention issues.

EB - Okay fine I'll tell you! I'm moving!

TT - Be still my beating heart.

TT - Oh. You're serious? Where are you moving to, John?

EB - Same city where Dave is!

TT - Oh, he'll be thrilled to find that out.

EB - I already told him! He was online earlier!

TT - I'm going to pretend I don't feel out of the loop. You do realize you haven't used any punctuation in this conversation aside from exclamation points, right?

EB - Ha ha! You're funny Rose! G2G! ttyl!

EctoBiologist ceased pestering tentacleTherapist (7:41pm)

John was absolutely giddy. He didn't know why the idea of being so close to one of the friends he'd gone through that whole SBURB fiasco with two years ago was such a remarkable thought to him. And having thought about it for awhile, he wondered for a moment, during one of his bouts of standing in one spot and zoning out, whether it was because it was one of his friends, or if it was for some other reason he didn't know just yet. Maybe he'd ask Jade about it sometime.

Dave sat back from his computer after John logged off, his eyebrows lifted slightly. He never got the chance to ask if he knew WHERE in the city he was moving to. Oh well. At least it wasn't a two day ride by taxicab anymore... unless he was unlucky enough to get that one glorified garden gnome they had driving one of them...

He got up from his desk and ran a hand through his hair. He'd been on that thing waiting for John to log on for way too long. He was hungry. And he was bored. He started for the kitchen, but stopped at his bedroom door. Right. Bro didn't keep food in the kitchen, did he? Food in the kitchen wasn't ironic at all.

He turned and headed for the snack stash he kept in his closet. Maybe he'd splurge on himself and get some Chinese later. For now though, he was feeling the apple juice. He sipped at his juice, looking at the stuff he had stashed away. Crackers, some canned stuff, peanut butter, and up on his shelf he had bread in case he wanted a sandwich. "Man, what I wouldn't give for a piece of damn cake once in awhile..."

Well, at least now he had one of the buddies he'd saved the world with moving nearby. Gave him something to be pleased about. Well that and his turntables. He headed that way to amuse himself by getting more awesome than his brother.

"Yo Dave!"

"'Sup, bro?"

"I got a gig, clean the kitchen while I'm gone."

Damn it.

Dave sighed, giving a longing glance at his turntables, then turning and heading out to do his brother's bidding as he heard the apartment door slam. He couldn't complain. Bro was working, kept a roof over him and all that while he was still in school. The least he could do was some glorified housewife chores.

Rose sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Well, if John was moving into town with Dave, they'd probably both be busy all the time. So much for hoping for a long-distance relationship with John... well, maybe she still could.

gardenGnostic started pestering tentacleTherapist (7:45pm)

GG - Heeey! Did John tell you his good news yet?

TT - Oh hello there, Jade. He told you he was moving too, hm?

GG - Nope! ;)

TT - Ah. Glad to see your psychic qualities have not diminished.

GG - Hehe! Maybe John'll get cooler hanging out with Dave all the time. What do you think?

TT - Are you sure you have time to hear what I think?

TT - Jade?

TT - Did you fall asleep again?

TT - You should really see someone and see if you can get a prescription or something.

The day finally came that John was helping his dad pack everything up so they could be on their way to their new home in the big city. Almost two days of driving, and with nothing he saw packed up to eat except cupcakes and cookies. Curse you dad, and your baking prowess. He couldn't wait until he was in a place where if he was hungry for real food, he could walk down the road and get a burger instead of settling for pastries again.

He was just glad he'd managed to talk his dad into leaving all those horrible clo- er ah.. _harlequins_ at the old house. Well, the time had come to get moving. Bye house! Bye creepy old clowns! John sat in the car, his dad driving with a trailer attached to the backend of it. He wouldn't miss this house and the monstrous memories it entailed at all. No way that could happen. He looked out the car window curiously. He wondered if he'd ever see Nannasprite again. He hadn't since the SBURB deal had happened two years ago. Even if she could come back, would she even know where to look for them now? John sighed and faced forward again as his dad pulled out of the driveway. Well, there was no going back now anyway.

Dave sat down at his computer. John hadn't been online much at all in over a week. He still didn't know where he was moving to, or even when he was supposed to be there. Oh well. He figured he'd just have to play the cards where they fell. His head tilted to one side. Well, Jade was online. Maybe she'd know something.

turntechGodhead started pestering GardenGnostic (4:45pm)

TG - hey

GG - omg hi Dave!

TG - sup

GG - nm sup with you, cool guy? hehe!

TG - same as usual

TG - shit be realer than real

TG - wicked ass shit you couldn't imagine

TG - mixin it up from hot to chill

TG - takin my peeps and makin a legion

TG - naw man

TG - I was hoping Egbert had told you when he was supposed to be in town

GG - Ooh that was so cooool Dave! No, he didn't.

GG - He should be there tomorrow morning though. ^-^

TG - still dont know how you do that shit but im glad you can

GG - hehe

TG - guess ill go get things together in case he wants to come chill

TG - later

GG - later, coolio~

turntechGodhead ceased pestering GardenGnostic (5:01pm)

Dave stretched his arms and got up to go clean his place, a new desire to avoid his bro developing within him. Well, he was at a gig again anyway. Really. He couldn't figure out why so many people wanted rapping puppets for their events. Must be the humorous irony in it. He started gathering up dirty laundry. Main part of cleaning this place... He figured he'd go do that first.

John awoke to his dad prodding him in the driveway of their new home. "Is this it? Wow, dad! This looks great!" He got out of the car and headed for the house's door, until his dad called him back and loaded him up with things to carry in.

"Meh." He dropped the pile of boxes his dad had laden him with inside the door, then looked around. "Wow. It looks exactly the same as our old house. Before all the additions..." He skittered along up the stairs to take a look at his room. It was completely empty, and it didn't have all the stubborn crayon drawings all over the walls, but it looked the same.

He sighed again as he heard his dad calling him, heading back down to help his dad lug things inside. He wondered why they didn't just hire some movers for this. Oh well.

Later on that day, once the furniture had been set up, and all their things were inside, still not unpacked, but inside, John dug out his laptop and plugged it in. "Sweet, I've got a signal!" He logged onto his Pesterchum account.

ectoBiologist started pestering turntechGodhead (12:32pm)

EB - Hey, I'm all moved!

TG - hey great

TG - ive been meaning to ask you what road youre moving to

EB - Uh. I don't know, let me go look.

EB - looks like Maple street.

TG - hn

TG - nice part of town

TG - want to come over and chill

TG - its only a few blocks down

EB - That sounds great!

TG - wicked bananas

TG - just go head toward the bk on your street ill meet you there

EB - Okay!

turntechGodhead ceased pestering ectoBiologist (12:40pm)

John grinned and hopped up, writing a quick note for his dad and taping it to the fridge before scampering out the door and looking up and down. He saw a Burger King sign and headed that way. He couldn't wait to see Dave in person!

Dave logged out of Pesterchum and stood up. First thing was first. He went into the bathroom to check himself out. If he was meeting his old chum, he wanted to look good. He paused, smirking at the mirror. "Not like I ever _don't_ look good."

He headed out and down to go meet John and maybe get himself a burger and a shake while he was there.

Somewhere around ten minutes later, Dave pushed open the Burger King door and looked around. There were a few people there. A lady with a small child, an old couple... and a derp. That... had to be him. He walked over to the derp with his hands in his pockets. "Egbert?"

"Huh? Yeah! Dave?" The derp grinned as he put down his burger and stood up. "It's so great to finally meet you in person!"

"Yeah. Real great. Hey." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "I'mma go grab something and we'll chill before headin over to my place."

"Okay, that sounds great! Oh, and Dave? You're _definitely_ as cool as you think you are~" He gave Dave a goofy smile and sat back down to continue devouring his sandwich.

Dave felt a smirk creeping onto his face. By the way he talked, John had to be as starved for real food as Dave was for desserts. He went to the counter and ordered, returning a moment later with two sandwiches, a chocolate milkshake, and an apple pie. He sat across from John and flipped one of the burgers onto John's tray. "Enjoy, man." He started in on his milkshake, his eyes closing under his sunglasses as he reveled in the reverie of sugar.

John blinked at it, then smiled at Dave. "Aww, you didn't have to do that." He picked it up and started in on it anyway. He couldn't lie. It was delicious. He craved meat. Or processed meat by-product at least.

Dave set down his half-empty milkshake and decided he'd save it for when he was thirsty. He went about eating his own food. "So when'd you get into town?"

"Just this morning. Dad's off returning the trailer."

"Score one more for the GardenGnostic." Dave tilted his head as he looked John over. He was definitely pretty derpy, but he was cute somehow. Shorter than he'd expected, and that overbite and square-rimmed glasses? Not to mention he was wearing a slime shirt. Yeah. Okay. So his chum was a nerd.

"I'm so glad you didn't have anything to do today, it's so great hanging out with you!"

"Yeah." Dave gave a half-grin as he finished off his food. "Let's go to my place. We'll hang at yours once you're unpacked." He got up and dumped his trash, heading to the counter to get himself a drink for the road.

The guy at the counter took his order, took his money, and then got distracted.

"Yo. Move it, soda-jerk."

"Excuse me? What do you think this is?"

"What do I think it is? I think this is an establishment where I have given you money to provide me service. And since you work in a place that employs the barely employable, I'm pretty sure you're willing to do just about anything for a couple greenbacks. And since I'm doin' something with my life you'll never accomplish, finishin' school, and I'm gonna end up ownin' your faggot ass in the not too distant future, you got two options. Climb over this counter, get on your knees and start servicing my trouser chihuahua for a couple extra bucks, or you can turn your ass around and get me my fuckin' cola."

The soda-jerk had his eyebrows raised and eyes wide throughout that shpeal, and now that it was over, he turned around and immediately got Dave his soda.

Dave took it and took a victory sip from it before heading for the door, looking at John and gesturing with his head for him to follow.

John was blushing a little at his friend's outburst. He'd seen it coming, but where he came from, that sort of talk was a taboo. He gave a doofy smile and followed along after him, nonetheless. As they walked along, John looked at Dave with a coy little smile. "So Strider~ how many girlfriends does a cool guy like you have?"

Dave cocked an eyebrow. "Girlfriends? Sorry to burst your little bubble there, assumption-maker, but I don't have a girlfriend right now."

"I'm sure Jade would love to be your girlfriend. She's got it real bad for you~"

"Yeah I know. Still don't want a girlfriend."

"Oh. Well, okay."

Dave sighed lightly, looking back at John. Why the hell did this dorky kid have to be so damn adorable to him? Maybe he could... no... no that would drop his cool factor way too dramatically.

"Why don't you want a girlfriend, Dave?"

"Haven't found one that excites me yet."

"Well, what excites you?"

Well there it was. The perfect setup to spill the beans. Should he? He'd gotten so many random vibes anyway. Even if something came of it, who would believe the new kid over him? Dave Friggin Strider. He was the one everyone wanted or wanted to be like. They'd believe him if he told them the sky was purple and made of lemon meringue. "...You first." It wasn't worth the risk.

"Me? Well I don't know, really. I like people that are attractive and nice to me. I don't really ask for much. I couldn't have my pick of the litter like you can."

Damn you cheeks! Stop blushing! You've gotten compliments before. This is no different just because it's... "Egbert."

"Yeah?"

"...We're here." Dave led John to the main door of his apartment building, and on inside toward the stairs. The elevator had a big 'out of order' sign that looked like it had been there for decades.

"Ssssstaaaaiiiirs!" John put on a sour expression. "Haven't I told you about stairs?"

"There's not much choice, Egbert."

John gave an exasperated sigh. "Fine." He followed Dave up the stairs, one hand gripping the back of Dave's shirt. If he was going, he was taking Dave with him.

Dave gulped lightly at the hand that was on his back. Goddamn kickstand, stay down.

John stayed close to Dave. "So you never answered me, Dave."

Dave led him from the stairwell on his floor and toward his own apartment. "Don't remember you bein' so impatient on Pesterchum."

"Yeah well, I've got other people to talk to on that."

Dave fished for his keys and led him into his apartment, giving a quick scan to see if his bro was there. It looked safe. "Well... I like derpy nerds with glasses and overbites."

"Sounds just _like_ Jade!"

"...What, do I have to fuckin spell it out for ya?"

"Spell what out for me, Dave?"

"...Nothing. Forget it. Nevermind." He moved through the kitchen/arsenal toward the living room.

John blinked in confusion, then went after him. "Dave, come on, tell me! You know I miss things sometimes."

"Yeah. You do. Just forget it."

"But Daaaaave-"

Dave grumbled and turned to face John with his arms crossed. "You want to know? Fine. I'm gay."

John blinked, surprised by that. "Oh come on Dave, be serious."

"I am." John was looking up at Dave, completely confused by this turn of events. "So... wait... if you're gay... then... who were you describing... b... before...?" His eyes widened a little as realization hit him. "...Y... you meant...?"

Dave stuck his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to go take a shower. Hang in my room if you want." He headed for his room to get clothes to change into and a towel from his closet/pantry.

John hesitated, but followed along after him, going to sit on Dave's bed.

Dave crossed the hall into the bathroom and pulled off his shirt before turning on the water in the shower, then hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his pants, just about to pull them down.

John leaned forward a little to look over at him. "Dave, aren't you going to close the..." My God, that guy is built...

"What's that, Egbert?"

"Nothing, nevermind."

Dave cocked his head, but shrugged and disrobed his nether regions, tossing his clothes on the sink before getting into the shower and closing the curtain.

John was still staring at where Dave had disappeared, his mouth slightly ajar. He didn't know until just that moment that maybe yes, he was attracted to guys. Or maybe it was just Dave. Who knew? Who cared? Dave wasn't just cool, he was hot, too!

He lay back on Dave's bed, looking around the room. Dave had a lot of pretty awesome stuff. He was really nice, too... and... well... really good looking... Maybe... maybe he could give it a try?

Dave stood in the cool water of his shower, leaning forward to press his forehead against the tile wall. Strider, you are a moron. Why'd you have to tell him that? Go ahead and ruin your already weird friendship for some shit you still haven't had the kahones to even mention to anyone else. Did you honestly think your online chat agent buddy was going to come be swept off his feet by you? Not everyone's a fucking queer like you, so get the hell over it. Wash your fucking hair, wash your fucking armpits and go be hospitable. He lifted his head with a soft sigh and went about his showering process.

John felt a soft blush rising in his cheeks as he pictured what he'd seen mere moments ago. Dave had a really cute butt~

Dave got out of the shower a few minutes later, burying his face in his towel.

John sat up again to watch him. He wondered idly if he'd left the bathroom door open for this reason, or if he really just never closed it. Dave sighed lightly, moving to dry the rest of his body, then toweling his hair. John still couldn't look away. It was like this guy had some mythical blood that made him irresistible.

John giggled when Dave pulled the towel from his hair. It made it floof out. Dave fixed it right away with his comb though. He pulled on his boxers and his pants, grabbed his dirty clothes and crossed the hall back into his room where John was waiting.

"Hey Dave."

"Hnh?"

"You look cute with fluffy hair."

Dave turned to look at him. There he was, sitting on his bed and being all cute.. smiling at him and everything... "Mm... You... think so, huh?"

"Yeah. You're... pretty attractive, Dave."

Dave put his dirty clothes where they belonged, then headed toward his friend, moving over him on the bed, and lowering his voice to a whisper. "Don't freak out, John." He moved in to kiss his lips softly.

John had been edging backward as Dave advanced. "D-dave? Wh-what are... you..." He trailed off when Dave spoke, blushing and finding himself purring as he was kissed, easily returning it. "Oh Dave."

Dave drew back slightly when the other broke the kiss. "I'd like to try this."

John's blush darkened and he slid his arms around him as he nodded lightly. "O-okay, Dave."


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: TO VIEW THIS SELECTION, PLEASE SEE CHAPTER ONE. 8O''[[Looorrr8 continue reading here. Okay, I stake no claims to anything in this beastly work of fiction excepting of course the writing itself. I'm making no money off of this, nor do I want to. I mean, yeah it would be nice, but... Characters are property of Andrew Hussie and Homestuck, available at .com . And I suppose I should also give you a -

WARNING: CONTAINS IDEALOGICALLY SENSITIVE MATERIAL. Meaning of course, characters are being placed in homosexual situations who I know were likely not originally intended to be gay. Also may lead to a weight-gain situation to appease a good friend of mine. Gonna be taking place in a somewhat AU setting, because I'm a butt and started this before I had a clue what was entirely going on. OKAY. Now that that's all out of the way, on with the show!

tentacleTherapist began pestering turntechGodhead

TT: Evening, Strider. Have you and John been having a good time?

TG: sure have rose

TG: sup with you havent seen you in weeks

TT: I have been here no less than usual, Dave. You and John, on the other hand, seem to be rather elusive as of late.

TG: huh

TG: guess we have been chillin a lot

TG: sorry rose

TT: It's alright, Dave. I actually rather expected to not hear much from either of you for awhile after this move.

TG: lookin at the cue ball again

TT: No, this one can be chalked up to women's intuition.

TG: what is it with girls and bein able to see the future

TT: I can't see the future, Strider. I never could.

TT: I can only see what you're doing.

TT: Right now.

TT: All the time.

TG: you sayin youre stalking me

TT: I'm saying that I know why you and John have been so unreachable lately.

TG: ...

TG: you ah

TG: saw that did ya

TT: I must say I'm rather displeased with your decisions.

TG: why would ya say that

TT: Think about it and I'm sure you'll figure out why.

TG: what you like one of us or something

TG: you jealous rose

TG: rose

TG: you still there

TG: dont tell me you caught jades narcolepsy

tentacleTherapist ceased pestering turntechGodhead

Well, there was an up side and a down side to this conversation. On the plus side of things, Rose just found out that she could effectively use doublespeak and cold reading to extract information from people.

On the other hand, though... she was relatively certain what she had just found out was that Dave was currently sleeping with her love interest.

"Well. Who would Dave _not_ sleep with?" Rose was slightly taken aback as she realized that those words had actually just slipped from her aloud. "I wonder what this means..." She knew what she would say to anyone else, but her passive-aggressive behavior was exclusively toward her mother. She was certain of that. There was no possible way she was jealous of Dave. That was just silly.

Maybe she could figure herself out if she talked to someone about it. John and Dave were out of the question. Her mother? That option was just plain laughable. She turned back to her Pesterchum account, looking for a certain handle. Darn. Kanaya isn't on. The only person logged on was...

tentacleTherapist began pestering gardenGnostic

TT: Hi Jade.

GG: hi rose!

TT: Are you busy? I was hoping to talk something out with you.

GG: not busy at all, rose! is something bothering you?

TT: Perhaps.

GG: :(

TT: Jade, you're attracted to Dave, right?

GG: um... Maybe?

TT: *sigh* You may not be the right person to talk with about this then.

GG: did Dave do something wrong, Rose?

TT: Not really.

GG: is this about your crush on John?

TT: ... I hate it when you do that, Jade.

GG: sorry! :o

TT: No, it may be a good thing if I don't have to explain it all to you.

GG: Did something happen?

TT: I think so, yes.

TT: I have reason to believe that John and Dave are involved.

GG: Oh?

TT: ...With each other.

GG: ...oh!

GG: oh...

GG: oh my.

GG: well... that's not so bad I guess.

GG: I mean, if they're both happy, right?

TT: Yes.

TT: Good for them.

TT: It's actually not so much that that is disturbing me.

GG: it's not?

TT: No. It's my own reaction to it.

GG: what happened, Rose?

TT: I may have made some passive aggressive statements in Dave's direction.

TT: Out loud.

TT: To myself.

GG: It's normal to be jealous, Rose.

TT: Ah. So you think so as well.

GG: what?

TT: That I am jealous.

GG: Well yeah. Maybe?

GG: is that bad?

TT: I suppose I didn't think myself capable of that flavor of animosity.

GG: You know what you need, Rose?

TT: What?

GG: A vacation!

TT: Oh?

GG: Yeah!

GG: Go away somewhere!

GG: have some time away from the computer and away from boys and just have some fun!

GG: Rose?

TT: Yes, I'm here. Just thinking a moment.

TT: I think that is a very good idea, Jade.

GG: :D

TT: Perchance I could even come to visit you for awhile.

GG: Oh that would be great! You'll have to take a boat to get here, but I'd love to have you!

GG: I don't tell many people this, but I do get lonely sometimes. GG: Especially since Bec's gone.

TT: Well, just send me your coordinates and I'll start deliberating on tactics for my arrival.

GG: hehe!

gardenGnostic sent file Heres a map! to tentacleTherapist

TT: Wow.

TT: You're really out there, aren't you?

GG: Yup!

TT: This is going to take some serious planning. I'll get back to you when I have an estimated arrival time.

GG: okay! I'll see you in two weeks! Bye!

gardenGnostic has ceased pestering tentacleTherapist

Rose tilted her head to one side. Two weeks, huh? Well, we'll see if her predictions are still as accurate as they used to be.

Two weeks to the day later, Rose was stepping off a rented aquatic taxi service boat onto the dock on Jade's island. "Wow. This is beautiful..." She looked around, shielding her eyes from the early afternoon sun with one hand. She wondered idly whether Jade forgot she was arriving today as she watched the boat buzzing away across the ocean as it reflected the sun repeatedly as far as the eye could see, the only break in the strangely calm ocean water being the wake from the departing vessel.

Rose's only warning before being nearly tackled into the water was a voice squealing "ROOOOOSE!" The dark-haired bespectacled girl came streaking across the landscape and leapt at Rose, hugging her tightly and suddenly.

Having nearly fallen at the impact, Rose did manage to catch herself and return the excited girl's hug. "Good afternoon, Jade. Your island is remarkable."

Jade backed up a step and gave her a goofy grin. "I've gotten used to it, but it is still really pretty! Come on, come on, let's get your bags into the house!" She went to grab one of Rose's bags and fell right onto her butt trying to dash off with the deceptively heavy suitcase. "Whoa. Hehehe! I'm glad I have this!" She whipped out her Pictionary fetch modus and started doodling Rose's suitcases.

Rose chuckled a bit as she watched Jade's face light up with delight as her drawing actually worked and her bags were captchalogued. "I suppose those cards do come in handy sometimes."

Giggling, Jade nodded and took Rose's hand to lead her to her towering house. The 'additions' to the house were still all in tact, though nothing was in the rooms they created. She led her onto the transportalizer and up to her room. "It's nice not having to take the stairs for the first flight anymore!" She giggled.

Rose was highly impressed by her room, by her whole house, actually. And she'd only seen a small portion of it so far. "Jade, we should have done this sooner." She bit her lip lightly. It seemed Jade hadn't thought of everything. "Where am I going to sleep, Jade?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Well, I was thinking we could share my bed. I've got a pretty big one. And I never get to cuddle with anyone..." Jade poked her fingers together with a light blush rising in her cheeks and a heartrending expression on her face. "Is that bad? Should I think of something else?"

Rose couldn't help but feel bad for her. She had spent nearly her entire life alone. Even her dog wasn't much company to her most times while he was still there and not being part of a kernelsprite somewhere, sobbing away with a dead dream Jade. "No, Jade. It's just fine. I'm just not used to it, that's all."

Smiling brightly again, Jade took out the card with Rose's luggage and brought her stuff out. "You're staying until the end of the month, right?"

"Indeed." Kneeling at her bags, Rose opened one of them. "If you don't mind, could we just relax today until bedtime? The time change has made me groggy."

"That's okay! I have movies, maybe we could watch one of those?" She crawled into her bed and pulled her lunchtop onto her lap, and as if on cue, her head sagged forward and her eyes closed. Her rebuilt Jadebot sprang to life as Jade curled up on her side comfortably, her lunchtop now teetering precariously at the edge of the bed. Jadebot scooped it up and sat beside the slumbering girl. "Come and join me, Rose. What type of movies do you like?"

Rose gasped when Jade slumped forward, putting a hand to her chest as she remembered the narcolepsy. "Jeez.." She smiled at the Jadebot and crawled up beside her. "Okay, okay. Hm. I usually like documentaries... and fantasy."

"I have Lord of the Rings."

"Haha. Well it had to be either that or Star Wars, right? Okay, we'll watch that." She edged between Jade and Jadebot, brushing hair from Jade's face lightly. If her robot was programmed to act out what she was dreaming... then she must be dreaming about watching movies with her, and she looked so happy about it. That was... kind of adorable. She was really kind of pretty, too. That Strider didn't know what he was missing with Jade.

The first movie was about halfway over when the robot powered down, retreating back into it's containment unit, and Jade awoke, sitting up. She saw her lunchtop on Rose's far side, and the movie playing all around them. "Aw, did I fall asleep again?"

Rose smiled and patted her head. "Yeah, you did. Your robot kept me company, though." She moved the lunchtop to Jade's lap. "You can restart it if you like."

Jade smiled and cuddled up to Rose's shoulder. "No, it's okay. I've seen it a hundred times already."

Tilting her head to one side, Rose looked over at Jade. She was... really comfortable around her. She slid her arm around Jade and shifted them back to lean against the headboard. Jade was looking back up at her now, with that innocent smile she always wore.

That flush on Rose's cheeks must have been irresistible, since Jade moved in to kiss her softly on the lips. Rose gasped and twitched backward, but... that was... surprisingly nice... Ooh, but what about John? As she leaned in to resume that kiss while Frodo's gang traipsed along, the words reshaped themselves in her head. What *about* John? He was with Dave. And neither her nor Jade deserved to be alone just because the guys they liked were off banging in some corner.

Jade was blushing brightly when Rose kissed her back. It was really more of an experiment because she'd never gotten to kiss anyone before aside from Bec's muzzle, and he was furry, so he didn't count. But this... it really was kind of nice. Rose was really nice too. And pretty.

The end of the month came far too quickly, and Rose was silently praying to the Elder Gods that the aquatic taxi would get lost trying to find this island.

The two girls had become quite close in the three weeks they were together. They'd done more experimenting together than either had previously imagined, and the majority of it was not in the laboratory.

"I wish you could stay longer, Rose."

Why? Oh why did Jade have to be so cute? Rose lifted a more tanned than usual hand to brush some of Jade's hair back behind her ear. "Me too, Jade..." She leaned in to kiss the blushing ebony-haired girl of whom she'd grown so very fond of in such a short period of time.

Rose's purple eyes lowered to the ground as she heard the all too familiar hum of the approaching boat as it came into earshot. She sighed softly. "Sadly Jade, it seems the time has come for our revelry to come to an end."

Jade sniffled and hugged her tightly. "I don't want you to go yet!" Rose petted Jade's hair softly. "It's going to be just fine, Jade. I'll log onto Pesterchum as soon as I get home. We'll see each other again soon. And maybe next time you can come visit me on the mainland."

Jade put out her bottom lip, but sighed softly. "Okay. We should do that. The mainland sounds like fun."

The boat was docking, and Rose took Jade's chin in one hand, kissing her passionately on the lips. There was no telling when they'd be able to see each other again, and this was going to have to last them until then.

(AN-Yeah, I know this isn't what anyone was really expecting for the chapter 2 of this. But bear with me. I've got a huge shipping wall which will eventually work its way into existence somehow. I'll get back to John and Dave eventually, don't you worry your pretty little heads.)

(AN2- Please review with whom you'd like Chapter 3 to be about. Thanks!)

(Also, my dear readers, you are in for a treat! My kittens decided to write you a story as well! I left it in here for your literary rapture.)

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	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: Words words words. All these things have so many words. I don't own anything except the bit of writing you are about to partake in. You know what these things generally say. Either you've read them before or you're just skipping over this anyway. Characters belong to Andrew Hussie and mspaintadventures. It's a dot com thingy. Also, there is about to be a **

**WARNING: THIS SELECTION MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR HOMOPHOBES. It contains what has lovingly been deemed idealogically sensitive material and if you don't like it, then just go hit that left pointing arrow and go back right now so you don't have to suffer through it. No one is forcing you to read anything. So. Still here? Good! Enjoy!**

**Oh. And P.S. - Still not back to the original pairing. No worries! It'll happen!**

"But Daaaaaad! I had plans with Dave today!" John whined for a little while before trudging upstairs to give Dave the bad news.

-ectoBiologist began pestering turntechGodhead-

EB: uwwaaaaahhhhhh Daaaveee!  
>TG: sup egbert<br>TG: todays gonna be a blast  
>TG: i just scored some choice new records and im teachin you to spin man<br>EB: oh man! That sounds like fun!  
>EB: But I can't. Dad said i've been spending too much time with you and hes dragging me to the zoo.<br>TG: fuck  
>TG: that bites<br>EB: I knoooowww! Bluh. I have to go. ttyl dave

-ectoBiologist ceased pestering turntechGodhead-

Dave leaned back away from his computer, flopping his head back. Damn it. Now what was he supposed to do all day? He leaned forward again, dropping his forehead onto his keyboard and leaving a long string of g's on the chat window, not even lifting it when the sharp dinging from his terminal told him his g's had reached the end of his typing allowance.

Bro came out of the bathroom, finally having finished with one of his eternal showers when he heard a telltale sign that one of three things had happened. One: Dave was depressed about something. Two: Dave had passed out. Or three: Dave had finally lost all ability to mix. He poked his head into Dave's room without bothering to knock since the door was halfway open anyway. "Yo lil man, sup?"

Dave sat upright again, adjusting his shades from where theyd come to rest askew on his face from being pressed against many computer keys. "Egbert cancelled on me. I'm fucking bored."

"Aw, the poor lil shit is bored." Well good, he didn't pass out anyway. Bro pushed the door open the rest of the way and leaned in the doorway with his arms crossed. For the past few months, all that kid did was hang with that nerdy buddy of his. He was beginning to wonder if maybe he'd gone wrong somewhere teaching him to be a bitchin son of a bitch all these years. "You could always chill with your bro, lil dude."

"Don't fucking tie me in with that damn puppet of yours with your shitty semantic prefixes." He hadn't faced away from his screen yet, and it didn't look as if he planned on doing so any time soon.

"Dave. I'm hurt. And so is Cal. Seriously though. We haven't been hanging out at all lately."

"That is because you are a douche. Now get the Hell out of my room, bro."

"Can't do that, lil man."

"Get the fuck out, asshole!"

"No way. My lil bro's got some shit piled up like a fuckin dung beetle soirée smorgasboard and I intend to figure the fuck out why."

"Go away. This doesn't concern you."

"You're bored. Of course that concerns me." His body flickered as he flashstepped for a moment, returning with something held behind his back. "Are you sure you don't want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. Just fucking go already."

"Alright, we do it the fun way." He raised his arm and chucked a waterballoon at Dave's head, the splash torrenting all over him and his computer, soaking them both and quite possibly shorting the computer out.

"BRO!"

That did it. Lil man was pissed. Dave had his favorite sword drawn and at the ready in what seemed an instant. It was a pretty sweet time traveling broken sword. Had record needles and everything. Bro just lifted a hand and pointed upward, then he was gone.

Dave growled and shoved open his window, climbing out onto the fire escape, running up toward the roof.

No sooner had he gotten there than he had Bro bearing down on him with a very overused movie ninja flying slice attack. He'd seen it a hundred times before, and Dave blocked it without a second thought. He had regained his composure, and he'd picked up a few new skills from his adventures on LOHAC. "Bro, I swear to fucking God I am going to mop this roof with your ass."

"Sometimes I wonder if you want to do something else with my ass, lil man~" He skidded backward as Dave shoved him. Damn. The little dude got stronger. Lil Cal was draped over his shoulders and he pulled him in front of him. If nothing else, maybe he could get to him through whatever stupid thing had him traumatized by an epic puppet like Cal. Whatever the reason was, it would never be good enough. Cal was awesome.

And there it was. That fucking. Puppet. It was everywhere. EVERYWHERE. For longer than he could remember. That fucking floppy piece of shit laughing at him at every turn. It was ALWAYS THERE. And he was attacking with it. AGAIN. He hated that fucking doll. He closed his eyes and for the first time since he was a kid, he swung his sword wildly.

Bro stood with his jaw ajar in stunned silence, looking down at the gash across his stomach as his white shirt was slowly stained red and fluffy puppet stuffing fluttered around them like snow while the lower half of Cal's body flopped haphazardly to the ground. "...Ow."

Dave opened his eyes again to that sight, and well shit. He hadn't actually expected to even hit him, let alone wound him like that. "Bro? Are you alright?"

Bro swooshed forward, a clanging sound followed by a thunk marking Dave's sword being thrashed from his hand and landing stuck into the roof. Bro gripped the front of Dave's shirt, pressing his sword to his throat. "..." He sighed. He'd won, and they both knew it. He stooped to start collecting the pieces of Cal. It wouldn't be the first time he'd had to repair him.

Dave stared at Bro, watching him serenely picking up puppet parts. "What the fuck, bro?"

He didn't look up. "What?"

"Why aren't you pissed? I just sliced your fucking stomach open and destroyed your damn doll again."

"Shit happens, lil man."

"Damn it, Bro... You never give a shit about anything, do you?"

"Sure I do."

"Yeah? When? Name one time."

"Remember last week when you came home from school with a bloody mouth? I gave a shit then."

"Bullshit. You sent me to wash up and go to bed."

"Yeah. And then I went to the school and found out the kid's address and knocked him upside the head."

"No you did not."

"Want me to call him up and you can ask him yourself?"

"Fuck."

"Remember that time you stole my board?"

"...Oh come on, you weren't even pissed about that."

"No. You fell off the fucking thing. I gave a shit about that. Your leg was in a cast for six months."

"Got some damn elusive phone numbers cause of that thing..."

"Yeah well, I fucking gave a shit then too."

"..."

"You're my lil bro man. Trust me. I give a shit. Sometimes two."

"Fuck you."

"If that's what'll make you happy."

"...What?"

"Why have you been avoiding me so much lately?"

"...WHAT?"

"Don't fucking play coy with me, Dave. You've been holed up and skirting my schedule and don't think I haven't seen you peeking around corners and disappearing when I'm around." He stood with the Cal bits captchalogued. "What is the deal, man?"

"I'm a rebellious teenager, isn't that a good enough answer?"

"No. Because I know that's bullshit."

"What do you want from me?"

"The truth. What do you want from *me*?"

"Fuck you, I'm going back to my room." He started toward the fire escape again. At least, he tried to. Bro caught him by the arm and stood staring at him with that perfect poker face. "Tell me what it is or it probably won't ever change."

Dave pulled his arm away. "You don't want to know. Trust me."

"Damn it, Dave."

"Damn it what? Did you expect this to be some gut-wretching, heart-rending moment between the epic Strider bros? My best bro bailed on me, you doused me with water that smells like half-dissolved rubber, destroyed my computer, lured me up here for an impromptu strife and I fucked your shit up. Regular fucking day in the Strider household, isn't it?"

"What is the fucking problem?"

"I'm fucking jealous, alright?"

"Jealous? Of me?"

"Yes. And no. Go figure your own shit out. Do the fucking math. I'm out of here." He continued on toward the fire escape again.

"Damn it, you little asshole, I'm not a fucking mind reader!"

The next sound was Dave slamming his window shut, then the door to his room. Bro scratched his head, watching the place where his little brother had disappeared. Jealous of him, and not of him? Or yes jealous, but not of him? But then why would he be so pissed about him? Why avoid him? And what exactly was there to really be jealous? They were pretty much leading the same lives, except the kid didn't have to work. He had school though, and that was close enough. What else did he have? Shit, he didn't know. Man, he didn't pay much attention to him, did he?

Wait... maybe that was it? Dave thought he wasn't paying enough attention to him? Well, he had been kind of avoiding him himself sometimes. It wasn't like he really had much choice in the matter. Kid was attractive, and he might end up doing something horrible if he didn't step away sometimes.

Either way, he'd let him cool down awhile and bribe him with some Chinese food before trying to talk sense into him. He strode for the doorway that led to the stairs from the roof down into the rest of the building.

Dave sighed in his own room, slumped against the door. Fuck Bro. Fuck this place. Fuck everything. He slid down the door to his knees, so glad no one could see him right now. "God, I am so fucking twisted..." He's your fucking brother, numbnuts.

A/N - Hey guys. I have dug myself out of my hole and I am back! Hope you enjoyed that cliffhanger. You'll see more in Chapter 4. Let me know if you want to keep it PG-13 or if you want smut!


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